Tom Brady posts creepy TB12 promo video to celebrate latest win

TAMPA, FLORIDA - FEBRUARY 10: Tom Brady #12 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)
TAMPA, FLORIDA - FEBRUARY 10: Tom Brady #12 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images) /

If you’re one of the many Patriots haters who’s accused Tom Brady of practicing witchcraft over the past few years, Tom definitely heard you.

And, despite what he’s insisting, we don’t think you’re wrong.

The extremely pliable Brady won his remarkable seventh Super Bowl as a starting quarterback last weekend, and seems prepared to run things back next year and try it again.

You couldn’t find a single person confidently prepared to bet against him doing so, either.

As the fervor swirls around Brady’s personal brand yet again — this guy really doesn’t go away, does he? — the 43-year-old quarterback put out a promotional message that puts his TB12 workout plan back in the public spotlight.

If you’re a Brady fan, it’s just another endorsement of how far training and hard work can take a person of any age.

If you’re a Brady hater, it’s a tacit endorsement that some kind of voodoo got him to where he is today.

Something for everyone!

If that doesn’t send shivers down your spine, we don’t know what to tell you.

And many of them are the wrong kinds of shivers!

By any metric you want to choose, Brady is somehow in the best shape of his life, though, and you have to give some credit to his workout regimen, which has been finely honed by the man himself, Alex Guerrero, and a team of pliability scientists/magicians.

Is it for everyone? No. You won’t catch me getting my legs smacked up and bent in my free time to increase my agility going to and from the mailbox.

But, at this point, you have to question why each and every aging NFL quarterback isn’t lining up to partake in Brady’s anti-aging study. Why isn’t Matthew Stafford on board? Ben Roethlisberger? Why was Alex Guerrero banned from the New England sidelines instead of promoted?

As Brady said in his own quote tweet of the video, you can laugh at him all you want, but he’s just winning, year after year. And it looks effortless thanks to all the work he’s put in.

Will I be abiding by the TB12 cookbook? No. I love my eggplants.

But if I were a desperate NFL player looking to revamp myself, I’d definitely reconsider.

Or maybe I’d just turn to straight-up obvious witchcraft.