Patriots quarterback Cam Newton might actually be onto something with his latest joke about head coach Bill Belichick.
Fans and media members have been trying to make sense of New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick’s genius for over two decades now. How can somebody devote seemingly all of their time to a sport, become one of the best to ever do it in his field, and hardly show any emotion after wins and scoring plays?
You’d have to be a robot, right? Well, not exactly. In truly ironic fashion, quarterback Cam Newton, who’s in his first (and probably only) season with the Patriots, might’ve just offered up the most logical explanation we’ve come across.
After last Sunday’s win over Baltimore, the three-time Pro Bowler referred to Belichick having the “Buffalo Wild Wings Button,” the “Staples Easy Button,” and being ” The Football Whisperer.”
Well, during his latest media session, Newton was asked if any of those nicknames could replace the now-famous “Dolla Dolla Bill,” and his whimsical response might actually be onto something in terms of explaining why the 68-year-old legend is always two or three steps ahead of his opponents.
“Those weren’t nicknames,” Newton told reporters. “That’s his reach, you know what I’m saying? As he says, I don’t want to get the number wrong, don’t quote me on this, but he always says, ‘I’ve been coaching this game a long time — 47-plus years.’ I scratch my head like, ’47 years?! Dang.’ He’s got a lot of connections in his rolodex of numbers. I wouldn’t be surprised if God or Jesus [is] on one of those yellow pages he’s got tucked under his desk. I wouldn’t be surprised.”
At this point, Belichick having a direct line to God or Jesus cannot be out of the question. How else would you be able to explain the heavens opening up tenfold and unleashing rains that made it impossible for the Ravens to move the ball on their final drive with a chance to take the lead with a touchdown?
More importantly, however, the coaching legend being in consistent contact with God or Jesus would rationalize the unprecedented success he’s enjoyed since he was handed the keys to the franchise back in 2000.
Nine Super Bowl appearances, six championships and 17 AFC East titles? Folks, Newton might have just answered the question we’ve been trying to make sense out of for the last 20 years, and the fact that it took him less than a full season to figure it all out has us thinking he might be a wizard himself.