Ironic 28-3 fact makes Patriots’ beatdown of Falcons even spookier

There’s always been something cosmic about the New England Patriots‘ success — especially against the Atlanta Falcons — but this is ridiculous.

Thursday night, Mac Jones sliced through the porous Atlanta defense like runny butter and the Patriots tacked yet another victory onto their winning streak. We love what we see, but we’re just sitting here waiting for a real challenge.

And, while we wait, we might as well look to the skies for a once-in-a-generation lunar event.

No, not a 25-point comeback in a Super Bowl! A different lunar event. Although…now that you mention it…

Turns out, at the tail end of Pats-Falcons in primetime, a three-hour, 28-minute partial lunar eclipse began. It’s the longest we’ve seen in 581 years, and we’ll have to wait for the year 2669 for it to be topped.

Wait…say that duration one more time? Three full hours? And then add 28 minutes? That moon better keep peeking over its shoulder, or else Dont’a Hightower might strip-sack it and reverse the eclipse’s momentum. That’s one small step for man, and one giant leap backwards out of field goal range for Matt Ryan.

The Patriots and Falcons played before a 28-3 lunar eclipse.

Even without Tom Brady, the heavens still seem to favor the Patriots. How ’bout that?

Who’da thunk that something from the skies would impact this Pats-Falcons tilt that’s somehow even more rare than a multi-part Super Bowl comeback for the ages? We’re starting to get genuinely worried. There’s something spooky going on here.

Hey, has anyone reached out to the Mayans lately about what’s coming up on their calendar? We might need to scope that out for the next time the AFC East and NFC South rotate into each others’ schedules.

If some archeologist uncovers a drawing of a massive fireball, we might just want to give the Patriots a bye week. It’s healthier that way, anyway.

You didn’t need the moonlight to see Mac Jones’ efficient brilliance or Rhamondre Stevenson’s devastating stiff-arm in this contest, so the lunar eclipse wasn’t a terrible hindrance.

Hey, Falcons fans, what felt more interminable? Your Super Bowl choke or this three-and-a-half-hour darkness?

Oh, and by the way, what was the final score of this one? 25-0? Hey, isn’t that the same deficit as…28-3?

Patriots: Former Falcons player’s revelation makes 28-3 choke all the more pathetic

A former Atlanta Falcons player told former New England Patriots cornerback Malcolm Butler some telling information regarding the 28-3 comeback.