6 Best names on Patriots’ roster

6 Best names on Patriots’ roster

Here are the six best names currently listed on the New England Patriots’ roster.

6. Bryan Stork

This is a perfect example of a player’s name characterizing his position. Stork rhymes with “pork”, so it puts the image of meat in your head. You want your offensive line to have meat, after all. Since Stork is a center, he is the focal point of that meat.

Stork spent the beginning of the 2015 season on the PUP list. Upon his return, Stork immediately had to fight with undrafted rookie David Andrews for starting reps at center. Andrews was one of the big personnel surprises of 2015, climbing up from undrafted anonymity to looking like a seasoned veteran in a matter of months.

As a rookie, Stork bolstered what was a struggling offensive line at the beginning of 2014 when he was moved to center. One year after winning a national championship with Florida State, Stork donned a Super Bowl ring on his finger.

After losing to the Denver Broncos in the AFC Championship Game, Stork gave a post-game interview that surely made Bill Belichick proud:

What a guy.

Next: 5. Geneo Grissom

5. Geneo Grissom

The double “G” and different pronunciations of those “G” sounds gives Grissom’s name an appearance on this list. Plus, Geneo is a cool first name in its own right.

Grissom logged six tackles and a sack on his stat sheet as a rookie. The sack came in Week 17 against the Miami Dolphins and it put an end to a threatening drive.

Grissom offers great versatility for the Patriots, as Bill Belchick detailed in November:

"Geneo has shown versatility in terms of playing end, tackle, and also on the punt team, kickoff team, a little bit on the punt return, kickoff return. So he’s given us some snaps in the kicking game as well as on defense, and defensively inside as well as outside. The volume for Geneo is high there. There are a lot of things for him to try to get down and refine and work on, but he’s a very diligent and hard-working kid, he tries to do that. His versatility is kind of a plus, but it’s also a lot for a young guy to work on all those things and be able to get as good as he needs to be at them as quickly as we need him. He’s definitely trying and he’s definitely making progress, so that’s good.”"

Expect to see Grissom increase his sack total as a sophomore pro.

Next: 4. Sealver Siliga

4. Sealver Siliga

Again, the same first letter in the first and last names puts Siliga’s name on this list. The alliteration of the “S” scores points. Also, Siliga’s first name sounds like “silver”, which is cool.

Siliga is about to enter free agency, so he was recently an installment in our 2016 Patriots Free Agency Yes/No series. See why the Patriots should re-sign the veteran defensive tackle.

It should be noted that Siliga saw a substantial decrease in playing time. As 2015 first rounder Malcom Brown got accustomed to the big leagues, Siliga was often the odd man out in the Patriots’ defensive line rotation. In fact, he was even a healthy scratch on occasion after starting in Week 1 against the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Still, the Patriots would be wise to retain Siliga on a low-cost, one-year deal. Doing so would allow them to cut Siliga in training camp if the competition overtakes the Utah product.

Next: 3. Shaq Mason

3. Shaq Mason

There’s just no getting around the fact that “Shaq” is a great name, especially for an offensive lineman. Especially for a run-blocking specialist. Mason’s full name is Shaquille Olajuwon Mason, which only strengthens his case for having the best name on the Patriot’s roster.

According to Rich Hill of Pats Pulpit, the Patriots fielded the NFL’s third-youngest offensive line in 2015. Mason was certainly influential in lowering the average age of the Patriots’ offensive line; at age 22, Mason appeared in 14 games for the Patriots, starting in 10.

Here is Bill Belichick’s evaluation of his fourth-round pick in 2015 after the regular season:

"Probably one of the most athletic offensive linemen I’ve coached. He’d certainly been in that upper category, the upper part of that conversation. He runs well, has got very good balance, short space quickness, and he’s light on his feet.” Fundamentally, technique-wise, there are a lot of things that he still needs to work on, and Shaq has improved a lot, but there’s still things for him to work on. Things that he can do better and more consistently. But just in terms of athleticism, balance, speed, quickness, he’s very good. Very talented.”"

Next: 2. LaAdrian Waddle

2. LaAdrian Waddle

At 328 yet still athletic for a big man, Waddle certain waddles well for someone his size. The “La” at the beginning of his first name, and the “waddle” pun almost puts this name at the top of this list.

Of the 12 offensive linemen who appeared in games for the Patriots in 2015, Waddle played the third-fewest snaps (40). He was signed from the Detroit Lions to address the injury bug the Patriots were experiencing at tackle. Patriots fans weren’t exactly comforted when they saw Waddle filling-in for Sebastian Vollmer at left tackle against the New York Jets in Week 16, as Waddle hasn’t been the same player since tearing his ACL with the Lions.

Waddle was recently the subject of our 2016 Patriots Free Agency Yes/No series, and it was decided that the Pats would be better off letting the injury-prone veteran walk to make way for a promising rookie tackle. The Patriots need to upgrade their depth behind Nate Solder and Sebastian Vollmer, and Waddle is not the answer (neither is Cameron Fleming).

Next: 1. Ishmaa’ily Kitchen

1. Ishmaa’ily Kitchen

Without a doubt, this is the best name on the Patriots’ roster. You barely ever see two letter “a”s in a row, and an apostrophe followed by “ily” is a rare sight if there ever was one. And just for good measure, Kitchen’s last name is perfect for a 330-pound nose tackle.

Before coming to New England late in 2015, Kitchen spent a brief spell in Detroit in October.

Kitchen was a member of the Cleveland Browns from 2012 through 214, appearing in 40 games during that span. He totaled 78 tackles for the Browns in those three seasons.

Next: Ranking all 9 uniform combos in Pats history

So there you have it. Stork, Grissom, Siliga, Mason, Waddle and Kitchen have the best names on the Patriots’ roster.